HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
