I just made out with a guy for $7.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
