happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
