you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
