You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
