Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
