my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
