oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
