any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She's the barista slut.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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