windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
If I die, sorry about rent.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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