Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
