Kiss
Puke
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
