So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The air taste purple.
Randomize
