I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Randomize
