if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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