O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
