So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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