You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm like, not good at living.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
