Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
