Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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