That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
