i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
