Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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