Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You left your phone here
Wait...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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