He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
