garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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