perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
