i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
