Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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