2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
