fuck your aforementioned shoe
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
