so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
zippers are such a cool invention
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
