are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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