I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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