Can Purell be used as lube?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Randomize
