Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
