you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
