On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
