Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
