I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
