i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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