I want to walk on stilts...naked
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize