I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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