i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
