ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
