and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
