if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
