Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Randomize
