she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
