Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
